She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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