I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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