Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
