Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
