did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
