The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
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He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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