do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
