margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
