I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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