He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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