K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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