she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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