you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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