is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
