A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
