And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
