I'm lost and stupid without you.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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