His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
