just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
