I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
