i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
