We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
whose parrot is this?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
