Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
