Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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