Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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