She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
