the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
