Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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