Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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