I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
