this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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