This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to sanitize my soul.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
