no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Randomize
