i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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