and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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