when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
