I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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