Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.

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(212): They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning. http://tfl.nu/4eyl

Replies (3) Good night (1479) Bad night (517)
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(909): View more from California

It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity

(909): View more from California

Something's gotta give!

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(909): It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity (909): Something's gotta give! http://tfl.nu/w8ji

Replies (23) Good night (638) Bad night (1592)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.

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(859): Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota. http://tfl.nu/azvw

Replies (14) Good night (2774) Bad night (712)
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(818): View more from California

he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.

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(818): he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small. http://tfl.nu/cj40

Replies (40) Good night (807) Bad night (10382)
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(407): View more from Florida

I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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(407): I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care. http://tfl.nu/n9k1

Replies (14) Good night (4781) Bad night (672)
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(361): View more from Texas

ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.

(1-361): View more from Texas

Shotgun.

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(361): ISS teacher has a tramp stamp. (1-361): Shotgun. http://tfl.nu/53a6

Replies (57) Good night (4390) Bad night (750)
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(317): View more from Indiana

Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar

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(317): Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar http://tfl.nu/plcg

Replies (13) Good night (5633) Bad night (1115)
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(212): View more from New York

Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!

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(212): Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?! http://tfl.nu/8o3k

Replies (18) Good night (1281) Bad night (4580)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.

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(843): You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you. http://tfl.nu/p8ms

Replies (2) Good night (524) Bad night (1564)
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(313): View more from Michigan

Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.

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(313): Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning. (1-313): That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls. http://tfl.nu/sn09

Replies (7) Good night (567) Bad night (1469)
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(416): View more from Toronto

I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.

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(416): I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now. http://tfl.nu/vurn

Replies (5) Good night (1159) Bad night (553)
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(914): View more from New York

He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.

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(914): He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen. http://tfl.nu/pgtg

Replies (3) Good night (1991) Bad night (571)
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(563): View more from Iowa

Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE

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(563): Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE http://tfl.nu/qgoo

Replies (6) Good night (1635) Bad night (520)
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(407): View more from Florida

If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store

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(407): If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store http://tfl.nu/imig

Replies (7) Good night (1560) Bad night (245)
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(251): View more from Alabama

well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras

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(251): well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras http://tfl.nu/4zxu

Replies (1) Good night (247) Bad night (278)

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