So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
i just made my gag reflex go away.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER