I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
