Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Your mouth is God's brothel.

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  (609): Your mouth is God's brothel. http://tfl.nu/epk5
  Replies (0) Good night (1325) Bad night (656)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during

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  (919): I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during http://tfl.nu/dav8
  Replies (21) Good night (3529) Bad night (698)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

  (775): View more from Nevada

  yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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  (702): It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me... (775): yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift. http://tfl.nu/mwdt
  Replies (25) Good night (5690) Bad night (1021)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.

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  (203): They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court. http://tfl.nu/8rt0
  Replies (10) Good night (6480) Bad night (1037)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.

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  (810): Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy. http://tfl.nu/tczv
  Replies (6) Good night (2687) Bad night (1096)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.

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  (813): Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator. http://tfl.nu/65uw
  Replies (15) Good night (1503) Bad night (4580)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?

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  (802): Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin? http://tfl.nu/zb3y
  Replies (20) Good night (3170) Bad night (1017)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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  (902): The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat http://tfl.nu/pk4p
  Replies (3) Good night (2890) Bad night (1400)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.

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  (307): Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka. http://tfl.nu/40xv
  Replies (4) Good night (2613) Bad night (837)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.

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  (314): I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/tow2
  Replies (4) Good night (1663) Bad night (645)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

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  (757): Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him http://tfl.nu/gn0k
  Replies (13) Good night (1256) Bad night (2469)
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  (818): View more from California

  My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.

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  (818): My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap. http://tfl.nu/eas6
  Replies (2) Good night (683) Bad night (1001)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

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  (937): whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had http://tfl.nu/mht2
  Replies (1) Good night (667) Bad night (418)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.

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  (937): Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level. http://tfl.nu/b08m
  Replies (6) Good night (933) Bad night (371)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups

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  (216): facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups http://tfl.nu/n2ou
  Replies (0) Good night (358) Bad night (663)

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