I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.