Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hoooooo maaaaan

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yes?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm retarded. Again.

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  (248): Hoooooo maaaaan (313): Yes? (248): I'm retarded. Again. http://tfl.nu/k0ba
  Replies (2) Good night (1538) Bad night (792)
• Favorite

  (980): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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  (980): I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks http://tfl.nu/h8ue
  Replies (29) Good night (951) Bad night (4937)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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  (701): that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon http://tfl.nu/7qfo
  Replies (20) Good night (3457) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  That's the best idea I've heard all day.

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  (248): Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls. (1-248): That's the best idea I've heard all day. http://tfl.nu/w1qi
  Replies (30) Good night (9188) Bad night (2765)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.

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  (708): I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie. http://tfl.nu/rjzr
  Replies (6) Good night (4551) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.

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  (954): i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar. http://tfl.nu/rj0l
  Replies (13) Good night (1155) Bad night (3849)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.

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  (256): Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation. http://tfl.nu/su8c
  Replies (11) Good night (3400) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong

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  (859): We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong http://tfl.nu/z1wm
  Replies (10) Good night (1470) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete

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  (408): I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete http://tfl.nu/3qb5
  Replies (9) Good night (2960) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.

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  (715): I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE. http://tfl.nu/ipmq
  Replies (6) Good night (982) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.

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  (229): Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now. http://tfl.nu/61qu
  Replies (8) Good night (1323) Bad night (609)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.

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  (425): Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes. http://tfl.nu/8scq
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.

  (510): View more from California

  See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed

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  (916): She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true. (510): See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed http://tfl.nu/tsp4
  Replies (1) Good night (959) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave

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  (304): I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave http://tfl.nu/i4i9
  Replies (2) Good night (734) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.

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  (513): I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual. http://tfl.nu/6x4d
  Replies (3) Good night (806) Bad night (300)

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