Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I am puke

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  (617): I am puke http://tfl.nu/8ec4
  Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (1126)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  No stitches, just platelets and will power

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  (215): No stitches, just platelets and will power http://tfl.nu/pdnf
  Replies (6) Good night (3046) Bad night (580)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

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  (864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume. http://tfl.nu/gbul
  Replies (53) Good night (1404) Bad night (5710)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant

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  (229): College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant http://tfl.nu/1flc
  Replies (67) Good night (5677) Bad night (1657)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

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  (270): they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out.. http://tfl.nu/o5dk
  Replies (19) Good night (5619) Bad night (1223)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.

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  (425): i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life. http://tfl.nu/aawj
  Replies (15) Good night (1729) Bad night (5243)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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  (319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4
  Replies (18) Good night (5121) Bad night (2422)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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  (860): I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name. http://tfl.nu/83o9
  Replies (22) Good night (5554) Bad night (918)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.

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  (914): Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive. http://tfl.nu/oqgn
  Replies (18) Good night (2145) Bad night (2318)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.

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  (270): He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture. http://tfl.nu/0w8n
  Replies (20) Good night (1873) Bad night (4277)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Strong work

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  (479): We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair (501): Strong work http://tfl.nu/wibt
  Replies (1) Good night (1424) Bad night (431)
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  (650): View more from California

  Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?

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  (650): Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation? http://tfl.nu/9kky
  Replies (5) Good night (969) Bad night (289)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  How's the hangover?

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.

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  (337): How's the hangover? (1-337): I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should. http://tfl.nu/4fpy
  Replies (1) Good night (710) Bad night (501)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!

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  (612): Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas! http://tfl.nu/ggjg
  Replies (6) Good night (740) Bad night (236)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.

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  (203): I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life. http://tfl.nu/5rhf
  Replies (2) Good night (469) Bad night (323)

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