Texts From Last Night

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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Nicole vs. Life

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  (302): Nicole vs. Life http://tfl.nu/qzfl
  Replies (16) Good night (509) Bad night (831) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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  (440): My astrological sign? Vagitarius. http://tfl.nu/0z0j
  Replies (20) Good night (3455) Bad night (597) Order T-Shirt
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  (386): View more from Florida

  First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.

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  (386): First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook. http://tfl.nu/2gux
  Replies (12) Good night (4866) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.

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  (803): if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market. http://tfl.nu/j5i5
  Replies (15) Good night (550) Bad night (3413) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.

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  (256): The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing. http://tfl.nu/qyj9
  Replies (23) Good night (1145) Bad night (4548) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.

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  (401): I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver. http://tfl.nu/132c
  Replies (21) Good night (5970) Bad night (1235) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?

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  (503): They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that? http://tfl.nu/8vi3
  Replies (6) Good night (2823) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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  (416): Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment. http://tfl.nu/mdg4
  Replies (9) Good night (8098) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.

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  (203): You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long. http://tfl.nu/0h4i
  Replies (4) Good night (3116) Bad night (758)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.

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  (+64): The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care. http://tfl.nu/n9x9
  Replies (2) Good night (1410) Bad night (513)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?

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  (931): Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me? http://tfl.nu/cqgr
  Replies (6) Good night (536) Bad night (2031) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.

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  (714): We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%. http://tfl.nu/ldbs
  Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (481) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99

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  (765): Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99 http://tfl.nu/kc7o
  Replies (1) Good night (945) Bad night (731) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.

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  (914): I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive. http://tfl.nu/7nw5
  Replies (5) Good night (880) Bad night (274) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all

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  (434): It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all http://tfl.nu/veuh
  Replies (0) Good night (538) Bad night (190) Order T-Shirt

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