i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
