i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..