Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just forgot I was standing up.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
