Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Randomize