Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
