Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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