I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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