Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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