I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
