Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
