Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
