I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
