Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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