My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
