Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
