He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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