I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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