Fuck appropriateness.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
