Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
