Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
