My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
