meet me or not, i'm out of control
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
