Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
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