I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
