I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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