You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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