I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
